B+A Helpers - Looking for C/C please?

You started off in the first person and went to the second almost immediately and then went back to the first again which I found very confusing and rather off putting. I think the whole thing would be better written in the third person as it will give you more freedom in description. If it was written in the first person entirely or the third person entirely it would sound better but it is difficult to come to a firm decision when written like this. Also never use a comma before the word 'and' as it is grammatically incorrect.